the chefar that never was

it was an ordinary day. one of those boring after-shift afternoons that i often waste watching channel 7 (since that’s the only station i can watch from my "brand-new/top of the line" tv). everything seems to lead to a droning evening when i got a text from "tristan". he is a frequent visitor so i have forgotten the purpose of his visit this time. his reasons vary from having allergies, borrowing a dress for his sister's play (an emergency, he says), borrowing books (i doubt if he reads them), and naturally, returning books. sometimes i think he makes excuses just to see me (yeah talk about modesty hehehe).as usual, we entertained ourselves with funny comments about my "ultra neat and tidy" room which would remind you of your brother's room during your teens. its painted dark blue (i painted it myself, for approximately 3 weeks) which he would clean for an hour just to get the dust off the surface, with sweat trickling down his face and back (I would even joke about my room having a Halloween motif for the whole year). this visit, however, holds promising results (????).
having been friends for a while now (a year and 7 mos), we have had our ups and downs. we would fight over movies, coming to gimmicks late, unsolicited advice and broken vows (echos!!). you know how annoying it would be to expect for something and not get it, right? or a gimmick that would turn into a sleeping spree, like he would wake up an hour after your scheduled gimmick and would plead not guilty for the delay he has caused. despite his shortcomings, i can't deny the fact that he is lovable. he is like a fungus, he grows on you, whether you like it or not. he's just there. when i'm snooty or having a bad hair day (or bad hair week for that matter), he would try to behave like a kindergarten, meaning, he would ask endless questions, that don’t make any sense at all. i bet he's doing that to get on my nerves, so if i get mad, he would have a reason to, ehhem, excuse my french, "make lambing". he is also very patient with me whenever im drunk. one time i left him barefoot on a highway as i hail a jeepney going home (i was using his slippers since i got tired of wearing my stilettos, so we exchanged), and he walked me home without any footwear. i also fancy walking out, without him knowing why, on a date if i get pissed off (girlfriend??). and the worst, ive mistaken his polo and pants for a toilet bowl. we were on our way home from a gimmick, i was incredibly drunk. we were inside the bus when my tummy and mouth decided to conspire and i threw up in an airconditioned bus where everybody was thinking "ay lasing sha". good thing a lady offered him a plastic bag for me to barf in (but nothing was left but a spoonful of what’s left of my dinner, most of which was on the bus floor). i felt a lot better after doing that. you could just imagine how he looked like while i was having "fun". i was embracing his waist (he was standing in the aisle while i was sitting on the last seat , at the center of the bus) while wiping the "left-overs" from my face with his polo. not only that. you know how your nose cooperates when you throw up, in short "may-I-singa" ang lola mo sa polo after itong ipamunas. it dawned on me what i have done, so when we got off the bus, halos isubsob ko yung face ko sa likod niya. there you go, you've just met the date from hell a.k.a. yours truly.
goin back to the subject, he arrived an hour and a half late (what's new?). i was half asleep when i heard him knocking on my window. to make the long story short, we had a few drinks. since i have low tolerance for alcohol, i got tipsy right away. we always have a game (bato bato pik) and whoever loses, either pays up (that's where i got my riches hehehe) or would do a dare. i dunno how it started but we end up kissing with me on top. he was always teasing me that i am frigid and kissing me would feel like kissing a driftwood. it may be because of the alcohol (asus!!), so i kissed him intensely (naks! parang nasusuka na yung nagbabasa ah) from the lips to the neck back to the lips, then down to the chest. while doing that i felt a hand on the garter of my shorts. then he whispered i'll be gentle...what the *&%#$!!! he was actually expecting me to just enjoy the ride? me, whom people call the POLAR QUEEN, engage in a gratuitous sex for the first time? not to mention in my own room, where my dad could catch us in the throes of passion? okay i wont get dramatic on that. but why not? its just that i need a little more of security and emotional stability from him. I was trying hard not to laugh with him fumbling with my shorts and me trying my best to cross my legs to prevent access to the “family heirloom”. after a series of changing places, he conceded. Swearing (without any bearing though) like crazy coz it was indeed a night of “first times”. I learned that it was his first time to be rejected particularly after he uttered the ever effective bait for innocent girls ,“IL BE GENTLE”. I was guilty for what I did but i‘d feel worse had I given in to his charms (or lack of it hehehe) im not a sweet person, that is a given. i couldn't come up with sugar coated comments that would ease someone's agony over a lost love, a failed promotion or whatever. i'm just like that. But that night, because of guilt (and a few drops of alcohol still in my system), I transformed from the tyrant best friend to an obliging (???) partner. Just to make up for the “damage” I’ve done, I hugged him while asking for apology, occasionally kissing him. I know he would have smiled from ear to ear with what I was doing, considering the times that I hugged him for the last 570 days that we’ve known each other (uhhmm, im not good with numbers but it seldom happens, veeery seldom). The bottom line is I felt human again :)